Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
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Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
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Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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