I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize