I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
