I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize