when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
