If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
