i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
