Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i already hear my dad disowning me
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
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