i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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