is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
