Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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