this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize