Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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