Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
