I'm really into asian looking animals
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
