So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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