Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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