names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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