I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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