How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
