and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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