I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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