when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
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You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
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Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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