its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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