I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
