id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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