Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize