when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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