actually, I'm a sock model
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
