My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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