so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
