remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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