perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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