grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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