So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
