I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
