I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize