You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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