Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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