Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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