The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
