I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
