imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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