your parents love me but you hate me
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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