I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
