wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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