I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
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you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
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He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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