party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
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I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
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He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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