I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
