You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
