I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
