so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
