How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
