Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
