I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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