It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
